I am an agent of nostalgia. I keep trying to forget those 4 years that qualitatively cover more than half the pie-chart of my life(The rest being school) .But those memories come rushing back to me at least once in a while, and they are quite impactful when they strike. I go Flash-backward, if that’s the word I want to use, and float around in the dead sea of good old days. I’m sure I can’t get back the same life but the idea of a similar life excites me. It makes me want to go to any college just for the heck of living the campus life. Meanwhile, one thing that dawned on my seniors, has dawned on me and will probably dawn on the juniors is that job-life is very exciting if you are good at pretending and disturbingly boring if you are what you were. I have stopped altercations with the majority’s readymade opinion on few things as I decided to get one by myself through an experiment called experience.
To be brutally honest, college campus is the place where I actually started thinking of, for and by myself- I mean the real thinking, which normally starts when it is least expected, and which, like real images is always inverted ( by which I mean your tendency to think otherwise). Thanks to the whole vibe of campus, I somehow made friends, most of whom are likely to be stuck with me throughout life. I value them. The kind of life I had there made me infer that life is created for the sole purpose of enjoyment, which may come in any
form and which agrees with a few basic morals. However, I, like all the hypocrites I know, was not so right.
My friend enlightened me on this, he said, “Look , whatever I tell you now becomes part of your knowledge if it is good enough to create an impact. Everything you claim you know is borrowed wisdom. It comes from a source- a book, a friend, your parents, music, teachers etc. Even your observation skills are tampered with. You rarely call a thing by its right name. The fewer the number of those sources, the greater your chances of narrowing down the crux of what your mind is trying to convey and act, provided your belief in something is strong and you have a decent ability to connect the dots. However, in life you come across neither similar situations nor similar sources (you are helpless in this regard) So the chaotic library of those unarranged thoughts without a focused belief system makes you confused and broad-minded”.
It took some time for what he said to digest in my mind. In campus, my source was the vibrant college life, and the signal was enjoyment. I didn’t encounter any situation where I had to think from another point of view or at least didn’t have to. Now my life is different. It is something else. I see a different world now. There is a plethora of situations. Damn it! I will be seeing different things my entire life. There is no order anywhere. I am bound to become broad-minded. And then it struck me- the bottom-line is that life has no meaning. The very meaninglessness of the life forces you to find your own meaning, period.
Anyway, excuse me for taking a huge detour towards something I’m criticized for and can’t get rid of- pessimism. Having said about that, I’m thankful for whatever delayed the convocation, which is going to be held on January 21, 2012. You see, the thought of meeting all your friends at once after a long gap gives you an unusual kick. I am soaring up in the sky and have just drilled through your clichéd cloud nine.
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