Therefore, I am in LOVE..

15 years of sensible life since 1995 has taught me that most people do things because of either compulsion or obligation.Do NOT try repudiating me because I can pick at least 6 out of  ten people who are not happy with what they are doing( Do NOT ask where I got the statistics from).Well, there are numerous books and movies on the same concept but let me tell what I feel.People dont realize that they have been gifted with  a power called Volition which very few make use of.This power to choose finds its inception in the form of an intense emotion which is as big as the universe but can concentrate itself in the four chambered mass of a pumping muscle called heart.It is LOVE.

Mathematically,Love is an Independent variable that gives a damn about other interdependent variables which collectively govern the equation of life.In these years, I have discovered my intermittent feelings towards life which shift from " life is beautiful" to " Life is a bitch".I have always believed that the mind is like one of those screens you find in multiplexes.Every moment is a scene and every scream of Joy or sorrow is the background score. Hence, I grew up watching all those movies which were scripted by the situations and unknowingly directed by me.

It was in the rainy season of July about an year ago that I finished reading the last page of THE FOUNTAINHEAD and felt the impact Ayn Rand had on me.By the time I closed the book, I fell in Love with two great things.The power of words( half of which were beyond the scope of my vocabulary) and the Story( which I fortunately managed to comprehend).It was then I realized that writing is all about the unsaid things and the everlasting effect it can have on the readers.The moment you hold  a pen, you are given the right to create your own world,make your own rules and probably a chance to ascend to the throne of a creator( If you are desperate to be one).And hence I decided to be a writer someday.But never knew I was going to fall in Love again...

The entire army was being decimated before stepping foot on the beach. Inspite of being frightened, the soldiers marched ahead.Some were blown to pieces.Some were looking for their friends who were all over the battlefield with withered body parts.One of them lay on the ground putting a hand over a deep wound that had ripped open his stomach. He was crying for his mother as another soldier behind him was searching for his detached hand.I watched TOM HANKS grieve over the death of his friend in the movie SAVING PRIVATE RYAN.It was the most heart rending scene I ever witnessed.I didnt feel like joining the army(they'd immediately reject me).I never dreamt of becoming an actor( as if I could).Instead, I felt a strong urge to portray something equally emotional in  content which a writer alone couldnt do.And when I recollected all the gripping stories and the memorable scenes I watched,there was only one man who was sitting behind the camera and guiding everyone.He was the one who truly understood that Cinema is a marriage of all arts.He was the DIRECTOR and I fell in Love with his work.

Well, THE FOUNTAINHEAD and SAVING PRIVATE RYAN are two of the very few peak points in the graph of my life where I was strongly driven by a passion.Life goes on, so does this enigmatic curve whose equation is unpredictable.Only Time knows the zenith of the next peak I reach.I shall base my life only on one of these summits  and not compromise myself with the slopes.The best sequence of words that that pump out from the heart everytime I am at the pinnacle of my thoughts is...

Therefore, I am in LOVE...

P.S  1)I have absolutely no idea about what it is to be  Director.

         2)Movies and books arent the only peaks.There was a time when I decided to become the President of The Republic of India.Alright!even you can laugh,like I did.

The ultimate sinner

Did you ever hear an extremely unpleasant sound coming from the epiglottis of an insane asshole who cannot differentiate between a wash basin and a Pavement?( you are right, worse than SRK in MNIK) If you did, then you just heard  a spitter getting ready to extrude ..... (I dont even know what its called,YUCK!). Spitters are as ubiquitous as cellular phones in a country like India whose land and people are being screwed in every possible dimension.Be it the politicians who disclaim accusations of grafting or the religious charlatans who mislead people who are still optimistic about them.Anyway,the point is, Spitters continue to be a pain in the ass to a large section of people.

Perhaps it all started when VENKATESH did the dirty job in the movie GEMINI which was telecast in GEMINI TV  itself after a few weeks of  its release.Or perhaps it started even before AB Snr's DON.Instinct drove me to stick to the latter though.Good, the hero is always some one to look up to, someone we all eulogize. But don't you fucking devastate my country!Why do you think are the signs like "spitting prohibited" and " Dont pass urine on the walls" for? It wasnt meant for the dogs you dumb heads!

" I want all the spitters to be hanged to death" says an 18 year old boy who received an outre design on his white shirt while speeding past an RTC bus in his newly owned bike."He just spat out from the window when I was unfortunately in the path of the fucking projectile.When I abused him, he stuck out his silly tongue and closed the window." said the boy cracking his knuckles.

"I wish the scientists come up with an automatic spitter detector which can spot spitters in a split-second and annihilate those bodies hosting one of the most execrable sounds in the history of mankind" a young girl exclaimed.

" I'll remove their footwear,snatch their belongings and coerce them to walk down the pavements and streets with bare legs.Only when I am as satiated as a Sadist, I'll return their possessions.And I'll make them repent their foolhardiness towards Govt properties." rails an aspiring civil servant.

Well, as long as the shit is in your mouth ,its absolutely fine.But when you stop thinking where, why,how,I am a human being and go ahead with YOU KNOW WHAT, you have committed an egregious mistake which can be tagged along this century's greatest sins like RGV ki AAG and POSANI'S RAJAVAARI CHEPALA CHERUVU( yes,its a movie).Ofcourse, SIMHA managed a magnificient miracle( it should have been a debacle of the decade though).

The next time you spit, just look around and discover how many abhorrent faces are staring at you.DO NOT lacerate the humanism in humans, you'll come face to face with a pissed off monster who just happened to watch Pyaar Impossible.Lastly, when asked how to tackle these kind of people, a computer science graduate,Avinash says " I'll join hands with a qualified doctor and programme their necks in such a way that the default spitting direction is towards the sky,exactly perpendicular to the very surface which they have been effacing since Pan parag,Killi and Goa flooded the markets.My programme woud then immediately restrict their movements in all possible directions so that their faces would be splashed with a velocity of  sqrt. 2gh.That way, they'll at least acquire a bit of commonsense and probably learn interesting facts about Kinematics."

P.S I find solace when I sit back at home and hope all the above wants and wishes come true some day....

E-study,E-style,E-status@ college

 TYPES OF GUYS YOU NORMALLY FIND AT COLLEGE

Studious: They are ofcourse, the ones who study well the ones who get good grades.They are lost in their own world which comprises of a room( a mini library), the class room, bathroom and absolutely no room for enjoyment( typically defined).They do enjoy reading( text books)and writing( experience immense pleasure in disgorging their information-inundated minds).Its festive season for them during exams when they take head bath,wear new clothes, buy a new set of pens, pencils and prepare themselves for the D day.Thats all I can talk about the lives of these cadaverous creatures.They are as boring as all the mass transfer lectures put together.

The ladies' men: Well, these male fearing morons are always seen with girls.I doubt these guys are guys only in their semblance and really are an awful bunch of silly girls who even laugh at TV anchor OMKAR's jokes .Try accosting them and they will ignore you more than Deepika ignored Ranbir.The trajectory of their life has only footsteps of girls.Why on Earth do you always wear a bag? as though you have some important work to finish off.I bet there will be unwashed under wears which urgently require attention.Do you need a bag to carry an identity card?

Playboy/Romoeo: He is never found in a group.He is found either with a girl in some corner of the campus or in his room alone, doing GOD KNOWS WHAT.Even if you sell all of your anscestral lands and permit yourself to show your audacious attitude by betting on repudiating me, you'll find me happily ploughing your fields after a few years.This guy has some peculiar features.He never takes a bath ( a miscellany of perfumes in his stinking room is the proof for it).Why does he unnecessarily wear pants when all he wants to do is flaunt his brand new "Jockey" which sells in weird colours?? And not to forget the low waist jeans which horizontally bisects his bums.Thanks to his conscious nature of wearing something inside that half the campus remains in a gusto mood else there would be a plethora of patients with giddiness and abrupt puking.I pity his girl.

The rocking guys: Poor fellas! God  screwed their lives.They accidentally landed up in a wrong place.They are aggrieved descendants of Kurt Cobain and Brian Johnson and were unfortunately blown away and brought to India.They are easily neglected and barely noticed in the campus.Its very easy to identify them.The epithet of these rockstars is their appearance.They are often seen wearing T-shirts which contain pictures of Homicide suspects holding guitars.When I walk up to them I almost ask "Boss who are these people?" before realizing that the group photo of those jail mates emblazoned on the T-shirt is actually a rockband.Fine,you are big admirers of them.But why the fuck do you jeopardize your gender by growing long hair which literally dances around you neck? People actually think and discern which sex you belong to when they  watch you from behind.It ironically takes more time than solving the easiest question in EAMCET.And whats with those piercing at weird places?I feel like tying a rope to it and attaching the other end to the engine of a Rajdhani express.You will get body piecing, thanks to me.Lastly,pull those pants up and tie a knot around your waist.We dont encourage ass-exposing.Please dont try rendering the acclaimed rock songs.You'll destroy their beauty and end up in a cacophony.

Aawara hoon: Say hello to the most useless guy in the college and say sorry to the college for spending money on him.One good thing about him is that he has vividly decided what to do in the campus.He wants to smoke,drink and no nothing else.His dogmatic beliefs that college education is useless keep him occupied with a Knockout and a Kings Gold flake packet.His life is miserable but his intentional indifference towards things is as annoying as the silver jubilee function of duds like PANCHAKSHARI.Perhaps, old people who have taken voluntary retirement lead a busier life than him.He vitiates innocent ambiverts who equivocate between studying and boozing around.He is gibberish when drunk and babbles all the emotional movie dialogues in the state of desperation.He rarely feels the insidious darkness growing inside him.WTFs up with your beard? It is also difficult to get a vague idea of your face.ASSHOLE!

Miscellaneous: They are less important considering the current context.There are guys who are texting 24*7.God knows if they have a girlfriend but they sit right beside  and ignore you.They literally dont acknowledge you existence.They pluck you out from their minds.and you will be left alone and single like actress Rekha.The fucking cell phone is more important to them.I feel like grabbing it and sticking it up their asses.Bloody buggers.Piss me off!

There are ATTITUDE flaunting guys.In India we have plenty of them.They make an optimum use of the damn 8 letter word only because it sounds cooler than Hardwork and Practice.Typically, students develop their resumes but these pretentious Bastards brush their bragging skills.They are found wearing  T-shirts which have smart quotes.Even if one of them threatens you,not to worry because he may appear as big as a Dinosaur but his voice is as audible as an ant's scream

There are guys who fight voraciously.Even if you accidentally happen to touch them/accidentally scratch them with your little finger , he'll galvanize his instincts and pick a fight with you.He must be sent to the WWE where he'll get a taste of Rikishi's ass.He is as intelligent as the antagonist of a typical faction movie.Be chary of his friends because they are the scornful scumbags who ignite unnecessary sparks in the minds of these dumb wrestlers.



P.S: 1)I did not cover all the categories, only the famous ones that popped up in my mind.
       2) Ignore grammatical errors