The ultimate sinner

Did you ever hear an extremely unpleasant sound coming from the epiglottis of an insane asshole who cannot differentiate between a wash basin and a Pavement?( you are right, worse than SRK in MNIK) If you did, then you just heard  a spitter getting ready to extrude ..... (I dont even know what its called,YUCK!). Spitters are as ubiquitous as cellular phones in a country like India whose land and people are being screwed in every possible dimension.Be it the politicians who disclaim accusations of grafting or the religious charlatans who mislead people who are still optimistic about them.Anyway,the point is, Spitters continue to be a pain in the ass to a large section of people.

Perhaps it all started when VENKATESH did the dirty job in the movie GEMINI which was telecast in GEMINI TV  itself after a few weeks of  its release.Or perhaps it started even before AB Snr's DON.Instinct drove me to stick to the latter though.Good, the hero is always some one to look up to, someone we all eulogize. But don't you fucking devastate my country!Why do you think are the signs like "spitting prohibited" and " Dont pass urine on the walls" for? It wasnt meant for the dogs you dumb heads!

" I want all the spitters to be hanged to death" says an 18 year old boy who received an outre design on his white shirt while speeding past an RTC bus in his newly owned bike."He just spat out from the window when I was unfortunately in the path of the fucking projectile.When I abused him, he stuck out his silly tongue and closed the window." said the boy cracking his knuckles.

"I wish the scientists come up with an automatic spitter detector which can spot spitters in a split-second and annihilate those bodies hosting one of the most execrable sounds in the history of mankind" a young girl exclaimed.

" I'll remove their footwear,snatch their belongings and coerce them to walk down the pavements and streets with bare legs.Only when I am as satiated as a Sadist, I'll return their possessions.And I'll make them repent their foolhardiness towards Govt properties." rails an aspiring civil servant.

Well, as long as the shit is in your mouth ,its absolutely fine.But when you stop thinking where, why,how,I am a human being and go ahead with YOU KNOW WHAT, you have committed an egregious mistake which can be tagged along this century's greatest sins like RGV ki AAG and POSANI'S RAJAVAARI CHEPALA CHERUVU( yes,its a movie).Ofcourse, SIMHA managed a magnificient miracle( it should have been a debacle of the decade though).

The next time you spit, just look around and discover how many abhorrent faces are staring at you.DO NOT lacerate the humanism in humans, you'll come face to face with a pissed off monster who just happened to watch Pyaar Impossible.Lastly, when asked how to tackle these kind of people, a computer science graduate,Avinash says " I'll join hands with a qualified doctor and programme their necks in such a way that the default spitting direction is towards the sky,exactly perpendicular to the very surface which they have been effacing since Pan parag,Killi and Goa flooded the markets.My programme woud then immediately restrict their movements in all possible directions so that their faces would be splashed with a velocity of  sqrt. 2gh.That way, they'll at least acquire a bit of commonsense and probably learn interesting facts about Kinematics."

P.S I find solace when I sit back at home and hope all the above wants and wishes come true some day....