CRUSH

13 years ago,in my primary school when my world was only limited to demo versions of whatever i was exposed to, there was one feeling which set foot in my mind quite often.Like most of the feelings,I did'nt have control over its trips into my mind.There was a girl whom i'd see everyday(ofcourse,she was in my class).With my childish mentality,I would talk to her everyday.She did not mind talking and playing with me because no boy or girl would'nt have acquired the sense to avoid children of their own age unless there are some petty fights between them( like fighting for pencil,eraser etc).

On a small scale, She made me feel how a girl's company would be like, for my little brain.And those impressions have laid the foundation of my idea of how a girl should be.
"How did she look like?" well, had you asked me this question then, I would have said
"she is as white as a hare".If you dare to ask me now, I would say "she was the prettiest girl I ever saw".A couple of years later,I came to know what all I said about her could be summed up in 1 word as CRUSH.I'd rather say,it would be better if she was described as FIRST CRUSH.

Two years later....

"There is no ice cream here anirudh!" my mother was screaming at me as i stood in front of her, my hands folded and head bent down with raise eyebrows which were partially visible as strands of hair concealed them.I was looking at her in the same way as shoaib gazes at tendulkar for smashing his 160kmph ball out of the stadium.We were in a super market and here I was, making a big fuss about an icecream.There really was no ice cream but I was trying to refute her statement with my stubborn pretense.

Then I felt a cold touch on my shoulder.I turned back and looked directly into the beaming eyes of a girl.She was taller than me, damn! Trusting my cognizance, I inferred she was elder to me.Without talking , she paced up and down on her toes for a moment.Its difficult to erase her gesture from my mind.She offered a chocobar to me and winked at my mother who strangely smiled in return.In my attempt to reach for the bar,I touched her hand as the little wrapped icecream slid between our palms finally falling in my grip.Within seconds I saw her image before me diminishing as she walked away never turning back.I do not wish to describe her appearance then but I very well know how she looks like now.Infact everyone who watched Jaane tu ya jaane na must be knowing beacause she is......Aditi .....
TBC...

JAMMED-2

An uncomfortable silence filled the room.

"Instead of acting cool, why don't you explain what you just said?" Avi asked
"I mean to say I know what actually confuses me so I am confident of the culprits which create ripples in the peaceful lake of my mind.If you think too much you'll just be dropping more stones in the lake.If you stay calm the ripples will vanish."Rex ended.
"Nice philosophy at the wrong time. Is that why you are watching the movie? " asked Avi.
Rex nodded with closed eyes.He said " I think I increased your confusion".

"No" Avi snapped." Its simple, you are giving up"
"yes, so?"
"you are not determined".
" yes, I am wise".
"you must be ashamed"Avi grunted
"What for? I haven't studied for the entire semester and I don't wanna bang my mind the entire night.I do not know the score board but I will write the names of batsmen and bowlers I know.If at all I felt like you I should have felt the same way throughout the semester.But i didn't.And i do not wish to feel remorse now.If you know the damn thing which makes you feel and see it with logic, you will no longer feel it, got it?".

"I think i made a mistake coming to your room" Avi thought."I have a gun and want to kill myself but the problem is that it's unloaded.Damn Rex! you took away the bullets."
"What if you fail?" asked Avi.
"I will fail" replied Rex and smiled.
Well, the movie was over and Avi expected Rex to switch off the computer and throw himself on the bed.
"Didya watch final destination-2?" Rex asked.
" I am leaving, Bye" Avi left Rex's room.

Minutes later Avi was sitting quietly on his chair, his looks oscillated between the pillow on the bed and the book on the table.He was lost.
The End...

PS: This is how a fickle mind works,always confused.A mind whose operations can be modified through other minds.Just like a dried leaf in a strong wind.Like a piece of wood drifting along the river with the stream.