KAATRE, a dejected lover.

Dear -------

I would have written this letter with a Parker,but never did I imagine myself scribbling words which are now pouring out from a stolen Reynolds refill.If you had to enter my world, what on earth made you do so when I was meandering on the highway of life? Confused though I was, It was a nice feeling because there was a bunch of nasty buggers who were always with me.But now! What have you done? You have kicked me off the highway into the barren lands where even a dog thinks twice before shitting.Why did you make me a defacto bridegroom of another Desi Romantic flick?

The phone bills,gifts,sold books,friends' ATM cards,bike,petrol all add upto a fucking huge sum.And my dad wondered when money became so volatile that it just evaporated the moment my account was debited.I had a hard time explaining that, girl!You just wiped off everything from my wallet.You have NO idea how much I have lied to people.You have NO idea how I cut my glorious wings of freedom,just for you.But now, you have left me all alone like a crumpled piece of a tissue paper floating in a finger bowl.I feel like an Albatross which was just eaten by a Piles patient.It is as pathetic as the list of songs that autodrivers of Hyderabad usually play.

Something is wrong with your species.Why do you have to put on such a thick make up though we know the bitter reality that lies beneath it.Your false pretense at putting up a serious face is unforgivable.Why do you want youself to be stereotyped as a Rajishri's girl though your semblance matches with that of Rakhi Sawant. What's wrong with your English anyway? You keep babbling those half-a-dozen words your ex-boyfriend used while abusing you.God save your soul.If there is an asshole already waiting for you from the moment he landed in the US or  Australia where he has greater chances of getting his ass busted up for free,then why was I enticed? Was it because of the sporadic flaunting of your mind blowing figure which was an excellent pastiche of beauty and charm? May be yes.But,Why was I bowled over by your stupid forwards and the endless talks?Why did you appear in the nightgown everytime I passed by your house?Why did I have to suppress my unending appetite for laughter and type the shit 'lol' to every Z-grade blonde joke you text?

You fooled me in much the same way Raavan's trailers fooled millions.You deceived me more than RGV decieves his producers.And this spawns an ultimate feeling in me.LOATH!

I hate you.
I abhor you.
I detest you.
My vocabulary ends here and so does the ink column in my goddamn 1mm ID refill.Look up the remaining synonyms in a dictionary and take your ex's help.

 Your Psyched Sweetheart,
 Kaatre.

We, the students.

Gone are the days when we used to be obedient ( out of fear or respect) to our parents and mentors.Our lives were circumscribed only around studies, a few hours of play, and the fucking coaching centres which impaired our basic foundation so badly that we mistook an exclamatory mark for a factorial.They confused us so much that we couldnt see anything with an open mind.They complicated our simple lives.It was like watching a Japanese-dubbed movie with Chinese subtitles.Anyway, we were diligent then.And followed a more sacred path in 11th and 12th when we used to stay back in the college for so long that even the gatekeeper used to wish us Good NIGHT.Precisely, we were no better than an unfortunate bunch of people trapped in a theater screening TA-RA-RUM-PUM.Nevertheless, we wrote a few exams and got into colleges with  our respective calibers or the so called standards which is the epithet of the stupid exams.

Engineering had just started,Life had just begun,It was the inception of our careers.Our degrees of freedom were increased as we stayed away from home.It was then that I was introduced to the most venomous word that insidiously spreads through us to this day.This 3 letter word was the fountainhead of self-destruction.Ironically,we never realized as it always vibrated between the lips and crushed us from the inside.Meet the word which massacred everything we earned,LYT.Show me one guy who doesnt use this word and I'll prove he is the 3rd cousin of the genius who designed POSANI'S brain.

I have no idea how Leonardo Da vinci felt when he finished giving final touches to his masterpiece, Monalisa, but I bet my seniors felt more satisfied than him after boldly flaunting their incredible collection of movies and a monosyllabic word which perfectly rhymes with corn.And we then realized where Emran hashmi drew his inspiration from.Apart from this, some of my dear friends started watching sitcoms too.However, we grew sick of them and waited for the next fatal blow which came once in every 4 months in the form of examination....spawning Psychos,Plagiarists, and desperate dogs( kasi kukkalu), who forced us to formulate a theory postulating that in future, people who miss CAT by a whisker would prepare for 1 more year and go for ICET, thereby adding a new dimension to dumbness.

Booze and Counter Strike then entered in the space between us.Some got addicted to alcohol and some religiously played the unending game.The ones belonging to the former easily got pissed off in a split second and started calling Barbara mori Barbarious. They scared the living hell outta people with their insane antics whereas the armed men belonging to the latter category lived in the virtual world and ceased to exist outside their rooms.If the guy who made Counter strike possible had ever watched the programmes telecast in channel V/Zee-telugu, then he would definitely have included a SUICIDE option in the mind-fucking game.

Well, 1 hour of conscious stroll in the college campus was enough for us to spot the most handsome guy and the most beautiful girl( the word beautiful is outdated,for a reputed pervert once insisted on using "sexy" as he believed that girls no longer tried to be beautiful).If that guy proposed to this girl,it logically followed that they'd be found hanging out together a few days later.But,they NEVER did. For those of us who grew up watching BOLLYWOOD movies( where Priya falls only for Raj,Rahul or Rohit ),witnessing real life couples was as an unacceptable realization.Wisdom dawned upon us and we started to abhor Yash raj and Karan Johar's movies, and sticked to more realistic ones.Eventually, the thought of a girlfriend excited our empty brains.We railed at GOD KNOWS WHAT and went berserk like the Tollywood audience do when they watch their hero die in a movie.We buried ourselves in deep thoughts like an obsessed JEE aspirant does when he gets the last rank in every attempt.

At the end, all we do is sit back and think.... and wonder what went wrong in life.What we were then and what we are now. By the time we epitomize our screwed lives, we'll be outta college.Its quite analogous to our exams where we get a clear idea of the subject only after screwing the final paper.Stupid life I say! what say?